A Mother’s Love

9 Feb

When you have an overbearing mother who calls you by the nickname she gave you (way too much) since you were in diapers or still at 24 convinces you that you aren’t moving out until you’re 50 years old…it all makes you wonder..”Where The Hell Is My Life Heading?”

No, seriously though. I love my Mom, but she’s one tough cookie. Ever since I can remember, she’s always been a mother and a father to me so I guess she’s always had to pour on the double dose of the over-protective parent, but I don’t blame her. I would’ve done the same thing too if I were in her shoes to try to protect my kid from running wild. She was probably the best mother and father I could’ve ever had asked for. Honestly. BUT! Sometimes, there comes a time when a girl isn’t a girl anymore and the girl becomes a woman and, well, it’s time to leave the nest. Who knows if she’ll ever get to read this, but I just hope she knows that I’m forever in debt to her and the things she’s taught me.

I’m at a standstill in my life where I feel ready to leave my Mom and home, but I know she’s kind of halting me and stretching it out, hoping I stick it out at home for as long as I can. What I really want is to learn how to be an adult on my actual own two feet. I want to be able to call up my Mom and lean on her for advice should I need her expert opinion or guidance, because no matter what or where I go I know I always will. I just am not sure that SHE knows that yet. I’m sure she’s afraid that because our relationship is so close and tight-knit now, that once I move out we won’t be as close, but I really think it will be the complete opposite. I could never see myself or envision my life apart from my mother unless she left the Earth.

My grandmother wasn’t alive to help guide my mother into parenthood or teach her what it’s like to be a mother. Both of her parents died shortly after I was born so my mother really had to go about motherhood on her own – she never had a parent to call on for guidance, she couldn’t call her mother up and ask questions or when I hit my terrible two’s or when I hit my head on my aunt’s speaker and it sliced my forehead – she couldn’t run to her Mom or Dad and ask for a home remedy to stop the bleeding. I want to be able to run to Mom for the things she couldn’t, because not just for me, but for her I know that these are the things that make us cherish eachother and reassure that we are always going to need eachother.

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