The Haunting of The Ex

16 Mar

As I came into work today, I originally had in mind what my post for the day was going to be – umbrellas. Strange enough because it’s one hell of an ugly day out today and well, I couldn’t understand how umbrellas are supposed to keep you dry from the rain yet they still somehow wet both of your arms. Somehow the mood is fitting. Moving along…

I often find Facebook comical in the lovely voyeuristic qualities it has as you can check up on an ex girlfriend or boyfriend without them even knowing, you can read their recent statuses, peep out their pictures with significant others and the list goes on and your ex doesn’t even have to know about it. The most daunting of things is when certain parts of your past with your ex come back to haunt you or she finds nifty little ways at coming back into your life to try and say nonchalant things that roll off the hairs of her tongue that might have meant something four or five years prior are useless now. Have you ever wondered about how your ex is doing now and whether your life might have been different if you would’ve been with them? I think about it from time to time and not because I’m unhappy with my partner because I’m in a thriving and loving relationship that is growing every day and I’m eager to see how and where it goes more and more. I say that because to see your life differently might be hard and it is hard for me to see my life differently than the way it is now when years prior I used to think life would always be panned out just the way it was with whomever I was with. I thought that life was just as it was and that was it for me. Almost as if there was no going up or no heights to be seen. But now, I don’t see that way anymore. Some of that has changed due to my changes on life and some of it I give credit to the person I’m with today for showing me that there is more than just what you have in front of you and to always want to do more in and with your life.

I have been with one or two toxic people in my past who upon reconnecting with them a few times, I almost instinctly knew that it would be bad for me to even be friends with them. It’s like keeping in touch with the one person you always saw yourself being with in the past, but someone you knew it would never work out with. It’s heartbreaking and haunting, to say the least. I think I’ve been doing an okay job at keeping my distance from that the moment I feel that an ex isn’t being sincere. I try my best to wholeheartedly be friends with all of my previous exes after the tide has blown over, but sometimes exes are exes for a reason. Certain circumstances I feel that you just have to let go of what once was. If it never was, then let it be. I may have few regrets in life and some I might take to my grave, but I take them not anyone else. I know it might sound very heavy of me, but sometimes we all tend to weigh so heavily on our past and what we might have done wrong and it prevents us from really enjoying the present and the future and whomever we may be with. Rather than letting the ex haunt our lives forever, seriously, why waste good love on someone who could never swallow it whole when they had the chance to?

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