A Blow To My Little Lesbian Heart

24 Mar

Recently when nationwide stories were being told about gay youth committing suicide for having fallen victim to bullying, and people started telling their “It Gets Better,” videos as something to look forward to, I thought.. does it get better?

What if there were still a bunch of people out there in the world that still needed reaching out to that didn’t make the news stories in the paper or on the television. How would their voices be heard? Still, I’m hopeful. There are tons of things I do to help my community at large and I strive to improve not just the communities I am part of every day, but the community that is near and dear to my heart because I live and breathe its very essence. The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender and Gender Non-Conforming community is one that I feel isn’t just a community to me. It’s home. It’s where I hang my hat up, so to speak. It’s what I strive to make a better place, wether it’s by volunteering once or twice a year at social events. I’ve done so much and come so far in my own struggles within the community to get here and I feel like my journey has just begun.

Let me take you back to a time when I had a stint at working for the Human Rights Campaign as a grassroots campaigner. I was one of those people standing on a NYC sidewalk with a memorized monologue asking people for donations to help fight the good fight for equal rights for same sex couples. I stood for at least six hours a day in the cold and barely raised over $200 the first day. Apparently when you do that, that’s how you become staff. What came to my surprise is that every single LGBTGNC person that I approached declined to donate something. Of course I understood, though. It was rough being gay and having little to no funds. But then, I thought, don’t you want to fight the good fight, too? My trainer, a blonde-haired butch, Barbara, told me “Believe it or not, they are the hardest to get donations from.” I believed it.

But why? Our own community has its own prejudices as other communities do. I solely speak from experience but whenever two Puerto-Rican women are sitting together and another gorgeous latina steps in the room, some kind of threat takes over and it’s as if they’re all in a war zone. Really? Are we seriously trying to kill each other, here? While we’re all too busy killing each other and fighting one another.. we aren’t embracing our communities and seeing that we reach it’s highest potential.

I know there are some people who identify as LGBTGNC or don’t identify as anything, however date people of the same sex and disregard the community in its entirety. They disassociate with any celebrations, events or functions that could be remotely LGBT. It’s disheartening to say the least. No one says that because you attend Pride or because you go to a lesbian bar, that it makes you either. Society implants these images and ideas on everyone to think that way. I think it’s awful for those who feel that way and can’t set aside their differences to celebrate with other people who might share commonalities they might not find in, say, hard to reach areas or generally anywhere. Sometimes having a good time means you have to step out of your comfort zone and what you’re used to. But it also should mean that you try to find a voice in a community that best suits YOU.


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