How On Earth Do You Manage To Keep That Happy Face On?

15 Jun

I think I’ve probably been a lonely widow in my past to make me into this bursting happy and overabundance of joy all of the time in my present life. I’m generally always happy. But when I’m miserable or just going through a really rough patch in my life, believe you, me, my cracks will show and I might crumble in silence. I’m not as strong as I might appear in person. I guess that’s what makes me ..err? human? Cliche, I know. I’m reluctant to say that everyone has their ups and downs and hard times through their lives when they must get over some hump or another. That time for me seems to be like this year.

It’s been a very slippery slope since early 2011 and I’m not sure what more is going to come my or my family’s way, but like me and my Mom were saying the other day…”You have to laugh about it.”

In the most random of moments or times, I will open a Facebook message about something so nonrelevant to what is going on in my life and hear about a good friend’s aunt passing, and remember that we are still in the middle of planning our monthly gatherings. I have a HUGE dilemma going on in my life, but none I wish to exploit and still my good friend whose aunt has just passed merely says that she thanks us for our well wishes, but that this is a part of life. I reread and reread that last line and thought, she’s right.

Every milestone, crack, bump, step and hill we climb to get through a heart wrenching moment in our lives is because someone, some thing higher than ourselves has put it in our path for a reason. A challenge? Maybe. To remind us that life is what we make of it, definitely. But all of these things that happen in our lives be it good or bad, happy or sad are a part of life and we have to embrace it and get over them every time we are faced by them or we will always be defeated.

Before I go to sleep, I try to do one thing to make me happy and keep me smiling. Wether it’s telling a joke or watching a funny commercial or writing something down on a piece of paper that has made me think of something or someone. It’s my way of releasing negative thoughts or aura from whatever is going on in my life at the moment and reminding myself to keep bringing back the positive in. Besides doing this, crying when I really need to, even if I’m at work, helps. It is usually something I used to never be afraid of doing in public, but strangely enough as I’ve aged that has changed. When I’m at my weakest, I will break and no matter who is around I just have to let it out. I don’t believe that has ever been a sign of weakness, merely a sign of emotion and that no one is as hard as they look or even as happy as they seem. You can only be defeated if you let yourself be.

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