My Fear of Writing

29 Jun

Yes. You read correctly. I have a fear of writing. Not always, but lately at least. I don’t exactly believe in the whole “Writer’s Block,” theories, but I do believe that every writer will have a downtime or go through periods when they just don’t “feel it.” That time, for me, is now.

I think my struggle with my writing has always been on many levels in keeping a very close relationship with it. My mentors have told me I ought to write every single day. I think about all of my life’s other daunting tasks – working more than a 9 to 5 job, my bills and credit cards, and all of the other things that distract me from writing every single day. Wether it’s one page or twenty minutes a day. It’s my own fault, though, for not keeping a steady routine to work on my writing. I hear about my mentors’ and other peoples’ writing schedules they keep for themselves (like only writing in the early mornings or writing between 11pm and 1am every night) and I think – well I can do that too. But I don’t keep a steady schedule, when I really should. Sometimes I’ll force myself to do writing prompts to shake me out of my non-writing mood, when I feel like the juices aren’t flowing. Sometimes they help. I think the problem here is me. What do you think?

Right now, I’m reading two books and still in the very beginnings of them both. It’s hard to keep up, but like everything in life – it’s all about balance. My writing doesn’t feel the same since I’ve been out of college, but seriously, that’s no excuse. I was forced to write every day because of a class, but now that I’m not in that environment I almost feel lost without it. It’s an awkward adjustment I’ve had to make to my life and I forget that writing doesn’t just end there. It’s supposed to grow with you. Writing isn’t an easy task and for some people they do it when they feel inspired. My inspiration is there, but the will has been so blah. I have ideas galore but I just need to write more to let them flow. Basically what I’m saying is I know what I need to do and I just need to shut the hell up and DO IT!


One Response to “My Fear of Writing”

  1. Christina Rodriguez June 30, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

    I love this post! This is exactly how I have been feeling about my writing lately. I have a schedule set up for the year and I couldn’t complete one of my smaller writing challenges. It’s very hard to keep a schedule because at times, the will disappears. I know that I am trying to get used to working full time and I have other concerns that are coming before my writing.

    I think the less we beat up ourselves over it, the faster we get back to writing. Start small, very small. I love technology these days because I can write a haiku on Twitter or just a line of anything and it can get me going again when I’m ready. I’m suppose to be starting two writing challenges on Friday and I may not get through it, but I know I will try.

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