Now Is When I Start To Bring Out The Prayer Beads

7 Jul

I wouldn’t call myself devout anything, but if it’s one thing I know how to do best, it is definitely call on the big “man” upstairs when I am in need of his guidance. I know I probably blogged about this before, but this is a different angle. So I’m at a point in my life where I’m trying to do a million things at once but really trying to do one thing at a time. It isn’t easy, I tell you. My mind can’t focus on writing one short story without thinking about packing up my sh*t and moving from the horrid building I live in to spending my days at work hunting for apartments and all doing this while reminding myself that I must eat. It’s 3:30pm as I write this post and my lunch I made myself this morning is still sitting in my work refrigerator. I will eat it before I leave work today. I WILL! It will be done!

As I finish writing this post – a day later, mind you, I know that sometimes I just have to say “It is just going to have to wait.” Patience is something I really lack. I usually want to do everything now and do it quickly. I wouldn’t say I like to live my life on the fast lane either, but I do enjoy a speedy recovery to a hectic life and processes through life. I’m probably talking in a different language at this point, in which I turn to my prayers and hopeful thoughts to the man above. I don’t pray out loud or in front of people. In fact,  I do it in public when people are actually in full force, out in the open think I’m probably talking to them in mid-conversation. I pray during conversations, during movie-time, during sleep. It’s an awkward thing I do, when I’m sort of bewildered, in need of turning to something or someone higher than myself. It’s kind of refreshing to be able to feel like you’re praying – when no one knows you’re doing it. I don’t own prayer beads. I like to think of my set of prayer beads as my own fingers that lace together when I’m thinking positive thoughts and reaching out for some hope or to send some energy my way. I feel like it’s been a long year and it’s only July.

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