If I Left This Town..

25 Jul

I probably would feel completely at peace, but I’d still be lonely and miserable for a while. I know this isn’t how I normally start my entries, but I know I have been sounding very anti-everything, particularly anti- New York. Although I should be especially happy and proud to be a New Yorker now with the same-sex marriage bill passing (Congrats to everyone who just got hitched this past weekend!), New York overall has left me in such a sour state of mind and one thing after another leaves me in a foul mood. The trains, the people who ride them, the cost of living, my chances of thriving on an income to support myself and eat a meal every day that isn’t out of a box or can is impossible. Call me crazy, but what most artistic lovers strive and thrive off of New York and come here for, I no longer see beauty in. All I see is filth, economic downturn after what once used to be a gem of a city. I used to be proud to say I lived in New York. No scratch THAT! I used to be proud to say I lived in Brooklyn. Now I’m almost turning in my skin because of what it’s become. Of course nothing ever stays the same. I know that and I get it. But really, when the saying that goes, “What goes up, must come down,” I didn’t quite think it related to the city or people life. Boy, was I wrong.

Forgive me, in advance, for being so anti-NY, but I’ve been going through alot of location & other unrelated issues and I’ve got the “I want to get the hell out of NY” blues. Right now, NY just isn’t where I feel like I’m happy. I’m not saying I would just forget about NY and leave forever. I’d come back. For holidays. Most people who say “I could never see myself anywhere but New York,” probably haven’t been anywhere outside of the U.S. or New York & if they have, it hasn’t been to many places. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that because there could be a ton of reasons why that could be. For me, it’s just something I have never thought of – staying in NY forever. I’ve always wanted more than just this routine, hustle & bustle life. If I left NY, I’d probably be able to focus more on my lifelong goals without the ridiculous everyday distractions. I guess no matter where you are you still will have them, but the lifestyle is different wherever you go.

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