Pretty Woman Meets Fairy Tale

25 Dec

Despite being so into kids and having this on and off baby fever I admit I go through from time to time, there’s something I have to say I’m happy about that might come off a little shallow of me. But here goes.

Before I even begin this post I have to really give praise to all of the young women I know – friends and family alike who have raised and are raising their kids. I know it isn’t easy. I’m saying I know like I know, but I really don’t. But I hear some of the stories of what it’s like to be 19, 20 and 21 and having to raise a kid on your own, or with little help from family (big or small). It’s tough when you’re living in a big city and in an economy like this one. So hat’s off to you ALL. I can’t imagine being in your shoes and it actually scares me to death sometimes seeing these women raising kids because they’re women I grew up with and I see them mature almost overnight in front of my eyes and become mothers when they’re still kids themselves. It’s scary. I’m still somewhat considering myself semi-kid, semi-adult in a way and these young women are having families. Am I doing something wrong, here?

What am I trying to say exactly?

Without sounding too condescending, I can wholeheartedly say that being almost 25 and not having a child yet nor having too many crazy relationships to get me there, I’m a little happy at where I’ve gotten today. With no discredit to the women who have had kids at very young ages, I am not at all saying that there’s anything wrong with that for you. FOR ME, it’s not something I ever wanted for me. I’m sure for alot of young women it’s probably not what they pictured either. Some might picture that for themselves, though. For the larger of us, I would imagine that having kids at a young age is not the ideal dream. But I can only speak for myself. Having a child before I grew out of my own childish things and manners was not ever my dream. To be turning 25 and not in a committed relationship it gives me reassurance (believe it or not) that having a child at a young age is not all that there is to life – there’s more than just raising a family. I imagine how fulfilling that must be and I know how much happiness that will bring me personally, but right now I’m not there yet. I couldn’t be. I still have a ton of growing up to do myself.

I’ve always said that I wanted to hold off having children as long as I possibly could. I love kids, but I want to enjoy everything I possibly can before being a parent and diving head first into what that life brings, because it’s a whole new world and life. When the time comes that I meet the person I spend the rest of my life with (cue the Harp), I want to enjoy marriage and everything else that brings BEFORE jumping into children right after. Yes, if you have not already noticed – I’m a traditional girl. Court, proposal, marriage, THEN children.

As Julia Roberts said in Pretty Woman, “I want the Fairy Tale.”

And so, I’m trying to live up to my own fairy tale wether they still exist. I’m still holding on because I believe in them and because truth be told as much as I’ve actually been hurt in past relationships I’m still a firm believer in everything that’s good about relationships and love and romance. Only when it’s the right person. The only problem is trying to figure out who the right person is all of the time is never going to get you anywhere so I’ve stopped trying to figure that out and just let life run its course. I have faith that my fairy tale will figure itself out and whatever the ending, it will be a happy one regardless.

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