The Love Bug

14 Feb

So it’s Valentine’s Day and though I tried my very hardest to not blog about anything remotely Valentine Day-ish, unfortunately much like this overrated holiday I’ve decided to cave in. Yesterday I finally bought chocolates for my cousins and thought to myself, “Please let me get out of this aisle before I’m bombarded with all of these last-minute lovesick people.”

But today – the day of love (GAG) – has kind of left me in a swooping of conversations and passing through of overhearing of conversations about the power of love and the grand gestures it can bring. After my lunch break today when I was walking in the building, there was a man and a woman who were clearly debating Valentine’s Day and the meaning of what love means. Why anyone wants to debate that on ANY given day is beyond me. From what I overheard, the woman’s argument was ‘the way you love your mother is not the same way you love your child or your partner. It’s unconditional from the moment you are inside her womb.’ The man’s rebuttal was that it couldn’t be unconditional then if you can’t love every person in your life the same. She argued back with a personal example saying, ‘I can’t possibly love my child the way I love my husband. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for my son and same goes for my husband, but above everything my child comes first.’

When I walked into the elevator, I thought of a similar debate I had with an ex partner of mine. It kind of relates to this topic as she had said to me some time ago that she felt that I never put her first and always put my Mother above everyone else in my life – particularly her. Anyone and everyone who knows me knows that my Mother is my rock and best friend, the woman I confide almost everything in. When she said this to me, it bothered me. Not because it was true, but because it wasn’t. Naturally I won’t admit when I’m wrong and it’s a terrible habit I’m not proud to say I have, but even I think she knew she was wrong in saying so. In fact, I’ve only blogged about this a million times but I’ve almost always put the person I’ve dated first before anything and everyone else – my family will be the first to atest to that. I don’t blame anyone I’ve ever dated for that either except for myself – but I’m learning to adjust my life and myself.

With that being said, I do believe there is an order of priorities when it comes to loving people – and YOURSELF should always be number one on that list. As the First Lady Michelle Obama said it best, ‘We as women often forget ourselves on the top of our lists when we’re busy loving and taking care of the people in our lives.’ But I do also believe that there is no such thing as putting anyone above another person. My Mother gets the same amount of love that the person I’m in a relationship with gets, albeit a different kind of love. But I’ve never nor will ever put both on different pedestals because I don’t believe in that. That’s a little ridiculous. If I ever were to draw up a list I would be on the very top, my family and kitties then close friends and some acquaintances next and finally everyone who I’ve yet to meet last! Nowhere do you see me writing 1.Me, 2. Mom, 3. Titi. Clearly I would be shallow and what kind of life is that anyway? Fortunately I’m able to love every day and keep the people I love close to my heart and home-  so to me I suppose that’s worth partaking in some Valentine’s Day spirit.

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