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19 Oct

As it just so happens over the last couple of days as I’ve been cleaning out and trying to get together a few systems to keep my life organized from my inbox with loads of junkmail to my shoes and wardbrode and other miscelleanous projects underway, I have come back to my blog. Something I’ve long neglected for a while. When I looked at one of the pages here, 30 Before 30, I realized that some of the things on the list didn’t quite ring true to me anymore. They didn’t feel like something BIG to me, but rather something in the future I perhaps saw myself getting into the craft or hobby of. I made an update or two and realized one major thing on the list had been accomplished.

10. Move out of Mom’s + get my first place.

Technically speaking, I didn’t get my own place. But I’ve moved in with my girlfriend Lindsey and it has been a really positive and great experience. No doubt I have had a bunch of nerves about making the leap, but I am certain that I’ve made a good and right step towards something I have wanted and known I’ve needed for my own sake of being an adult for a long time.

The decision didn’t come abruptly. I’ve known for a few years now that I’ve been ready to make the move out of the nest that my Mom has so neatly provided for and abundtly cozzied me up to. But it wasn’t enough to keep me living with my parent forever. I’ve been in long relationships before also where the topic has been broached about “making the move,” or “when we’re ready.” But I think my former partners knew more than I did that our relationships just never reached that point. I knew it, too, and I was never comfortable enough to make such a big move like that. Sometimes taking those kinds of risks isn’t worth it if you don’t feel 100% invested in someone.

But now –

One month in and Lindsey and I have been more than adjusting. I mean, I had a few sleepless nights over the summer when I realized I was spending 90% of my time day in and day out at her place. There was an awkward point when I couldn’t separate myself from guest to roommate when I was timid, afraid almost to clean up around the place only because I knew I didn’t live there – yet. I was finding myself almost crossing odd boundaries – like I was breaching unspoken territories if I touched things that I didn’t know about. I mean, I was spending alot of time with her but we still were in this transitional period of getting to know one another. To Lindsey’s dismay, she always answered my frustrations with a, “You practically live here already.”

I was in between a rock and a hard place at one point – finding the right time when to tell my Mom I was making this big move. When I finally told Lindsey, “Babe, I think I’m going to tell my Mom I’m ready to move and start in September,” she jumped right on board and with a blink of an eye was right behind the wheel of that U-haul truck climbing stairs, carrying my tons of books, my clothes. And it all just fell right into place just like that.

So as I cross this off of my list – I can’t wait to see what others I accomplish. Because this was a BIG one. =)


Spontaneity, Was That You Knocking At My Door This Weekend?

6 Feb

It’s not too often that I make plans and sometimes they spontaneously shift and with good cause. Usually I like to plan things way ahead of the game. I sometimes like to be in control of things and like to see things go according to my plans. But it’s nice to just let things go off track every once in a while and not just plan every little thing down to the last little detail. So when I had plans to see one of my good friends who I see every couple of months – sometimes twice a year – I thought we were just going to chill at her place, cozy up and lay low and just bullshit the whole night. I thought that was the plan. But she totally surprised me and said she was taking me to dinner – to one of my favorite Thai restaurants in Brooklyn, SEA which is the sister restaurant to SPICE which is my other love. If you haven’t been and you really enjoy Asian food, you seriously MUST go. It’s in Williamsburg and there are tons of other restaurants and bars around. Definitely not a miss.

She surprised me with a little treat and it was an awesome friend date, as we call them! Thanks, boo! =)

And this was my hot tamale that was sitting across from me, outdressing me and all that. As she usually does. I need to start shopping with her. Seriously.

Date Night!

Funny enough it didn’t end there. We went to a bar her friend was bartending at and while she had a few drinks, I had my beer. Yeah, I know. I’m just not used to the social scene much. I’ve been hibernating as of late which I think has just changed this past weekend. Even more funnier, the one time I get up from my seat to go to the bathroom and come back, I come back to a shot which a random stranger in the bar bought for me. As he walked over to take the shot with me, I thought to myself, “Please don’t gag.” I don’t remember the last time I took a shot of anything. Oh yeah, nevermind. I do. And I never want to think about that time ever again.

The rest of my weekend was absolutely filled with more spontaneity. I got to see my other bestie, Josh! Who eventually I believe will wind up having my babies if I get too old and I’m still single without any children. We gossiped and vented over original Cherry Cokes and triple decker sandwiches at our favorite joint – Johnny Rockets. No one understands why we love that place – everyone thinks it’s probably the most disgusting chain in New York City, but we love it. It brings us back to the old days of high school for us and it makes us feel young again I suppose. It’s nostalgia at it’s finest. It was the perfect Friday night.

Classic Cherry Coke & Oreo Milkshake with my bestie - Yes please!

On top of it all I knew I was going to be spending this weekend with my little cousin Yasmine, who I often croon about. She’s 10 going on 20. I love her to pieces and sometimes I get a little emotional because I remember how much I would squeeze the love out of her when she was so tiny. I can’t do that anymore because it’s gross to her. But at least I can paint my nails with her and sometimes shopping can be fun to her like picking out my bed set and fuzzy pillows, which thankfully she was there to help me with that daunting task. We spent the weekend entirely on us and I took her to one of our favorite places in Brooklyn, The Painted Pot. There are two studios (Park Slope/Carroll Gardens & Bay Ridge), but I’ve only been to the one in Bay Ridge. It’s such a great way to relieve stress. We sat there, painting our projects in almost complete silence. I don’t think it was because we didn’t have anything to say to eachother, but because we were both enjoying it. People often talk through their painting all of the time – in fact I couldn’t help but overhear the people sitting behind us and their conversations. I just was so into what I was doing it didn’t really phase me much. And I don’t think it did to her either.

I think you can tell…

Mini Me's awesome work of art!

Overall, a sponteanous weekend well worth it. I guess sometimes there are some things you don’t need to plan and just go with the flow.

30 Before 30

16 Jan

So today is the big two, five. Though today doesn’t feel any different than yesterday, I’m actually more anxious to get today over with. Why? Well mostly because as I get older birthdays seem to be more and more disappointing for me. I grew up always looking forward to them as a kid even if all I got was a cake. Though most people have a preconceived notion of only children being spoiled, I was raised by an only parent who was Mother and Father to me so she had to make up for both when my Father wasn’t there to be a Dad to the little girl that I was. Birthdays for me have become so mundane after I turned 21 I’d say. Once you’re 18 and you become legal – you think “Yes! I’ve waited all this time to finally be able to do all of these things on my own.” Then you find out it’s not so different than what you anticipated.

So as much as I don’t want to sound depressing on the day my mother breathed life into me, it’s just another day. Perhaps it’s just today or this year and the year past that has me feeling this way about my birthday this year. Maybe I should be a little more excited about it. What I do know is that I have a lot to look forward to and I really do want to continue looking forward.

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been working on this list, 30 Before 30, that I was inspired by when I read it by a blogger I follow about a year ago. I knew I wanted to write a list of my own when it came close to my 25th birthday. My life is going through tons of changes right now and if I told you the kind of emotions I felt, you would need a notepad to write them all down because there are too many to describe.

I created a page on this blog especially for this list, which I wrote about here. Or you can just click on the tab above that says 30 Before 30.

The saying usually goes, “It’s never too late,” but I just never want it to be late to do something I absolutely love. I’ve spent too much time on other people these past few years and not enough paying close attention to my goals and what I want to accomplish. There are some hefty goals there and there are some that will make me laugh and probably cry, but none that I can’t see through. I think it’s time I take care of me this time.

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